Red Thread(s)

"On the topic of regret for what might have been, therefore everything, and was not to be, I shall say that against this backdrop of oblivion the smallest moments immediately and in the present acquire the heart-rending loveliness of memory. Everything is being replayed in memory already. Each moment, as it steps up, sees itself gone already. The sky is an unsilvered mirror. You feel yourself seen in retrospect."

*

"I also see a work table heaped with pins, they are mine, I am trying to collect them in a heap, to gather them together, but I don't know where to put them, their box has disappeared, pins by the dozen and a few needles."
-- Hélène Cixous, Manhattan

More and more notebooks, I am now writing on a dozen notebooks whose dis/superposition on my desk on my desk, due to my convulsive movements, now coming alongside, now nervously pushing off again -- (but I don't throw out, I push off) depicts my state of panic -- I write in skirmishes. Big notebooks, as against my normal fidelity to small notebooks. In fits and starts followed by brusque abandons.
--Hélène Cixous, Manhattan